It’s pretty ironic when a perfectionist attempts to create a website on perfectionism. The entire task seems pretty self-defeating for someone who needs things to be perfect before they can be shared with the world. And since nothing is ever perfect, nothing is ever published.
If you go back through the dates of my posts over the past 3 years, you will undoubtedly notice some gaps. The last post published on my website at the time of writing this article is from January 2022 with the title “I’m back and I survived getting married!” I wasn’t back for long before I gave up. Now exactly a year later in January 2023, here I am attempting once again.
At this point, I may have gained some more clarity. Upon introspection and reflection, I’ve definitely noticed some significant improvements in my perfectionist tendencies. Many times over the past few years, I would say “good enough!” and move on.
My mantra for the longest time was “done is better than perfect.” Whenever I would catch myself falling into the perfectionist hyperfocused state of anxiety, I would take a deep breath and remind myself, “done is better than perfect.”
I understand for many situations, things need to be completed correctly and precisely. But that doesn’t mean everything has to be that way. If you chronically struggle with getting things done because you feel this need for everything to be perfect, then what you need to focus on is just getting things done. If you have several unfinished projects sitting around your house that you’ve given up on because they wouldn’t come out the way you saw it in your head, then this approach is for you.
To overcome perfectionism, you need to understand what it is and why you fall into its trap. Perfectionism is not an OCD impulse for everything to be precise and well above average. It is a defense mechanism. That’s right, it is your instinctual response to protect you from your fear of judgment, embarrassment, failure, and vulnerability.
I know what you’re thinking, “whoa, that is deep,” or “if that’s the case, then it’s impossible to get over!” It is deep, but nothing is impossible. While I do suggest that everyone see a therapist to work through these deeper issues at the core of perfectionism, I want to focus this article on tangible actions you can take to help you follow through on tasks and projects.
Below are some things I have personally tried that helped me overcome my perfectionist hindrance to getting things done:
Understand your perfectionism cycle
Usually, there is a trigger that spurs an automatic response or thought which leads to an action. For example, if I’m painting, I’ll notice a spot that has a little too much of one color. My automatic thought is that the colors need to be evenly distributed on the canvas to create the smooth picture of the painting I have in my mind. This then prompts me to go back over and try to fix the issue. However, as soon as I do this, I become very focused on the area of the flaw and inevitably see an endless amount of flaws in my painting. Then my frustration and anxiety build up as my “fixing things” only make more mistakes to fix and it eventually becomes too unbearable, so I throw the whole thing away or I tell myself I need a break and plan to come back to it later. However, I never come back to it because every time I look at it, that frustration comes right back and I feel too overwhelmed to pick it back up again. We need to understand this cycle so that we can identify it at the moment of the first trigger and interrupt the cycle from continuing.
Practice mindfulness and self-compassion
Practicing mindfulness has a lot of benefits. But for perfectionism specifically, we’ll be able to notice when we’re feeling that urge to do things perfectly and the frustration we feel when it isn’t coming out the way we want. Simply being aware of this at the moment can help get us out of our heads. And this is very important for the next step to occur. Simultaneously, we must not judge ourselves for falling into a perfectionism cycle. We need to cultivate a mindset of self-compassion. As perfectionists, we judge and criticize ourselves harshly all the time. Instead, be proud of catching yourself before falling into a downward spiral!
Remind yourself that “done is better than perfect”
Once we notice that we are caught in a perfectionism cycle and we have been able to pull ourselves out of our heads for a brief pause, we are faced with the opportunity to remind ourselves of our true intention. Our intention is not for something to be perfect, our intention is to complete the task at hand.
Take a deep breath
Do not skip this step. After you remind yourself of your intention, focus on it as you breathe in deeply and slowly. Pull the air all the way down to your belly, then slowly exhale. This helps to reset your mind and maintain that clarity of intention.
Get back to work
With your intention set and your breath having just given you a little reset, it’s time to dive back in. Focus on your intention of getting the task done. That is the real goal. Stay focused on that and remain objective to the quality of the outcome. Maintain a “good enough” mindset and you work one small step at a time.
Congratulate yourself on reaching your goal
Once you complete your task, allow yourself to be proud of the fact that you accomplished your goal. No matter how it looks, your intention was only for it to be done and you nailed it!
Walk away
Once you congratulate yourself, promptly walk away and move on to the next thing. Do not give yourself the opportunity to nitpick about the finished product because you will likely tear it apart with judgment about everything that you shoulda, coulda, and woulda. It is done and in the past, so you no longer need to linger on it. Any further thoughts on that matter have no meaning. You’re done!
It is a great feeling to bring a project to completion. As I did, you will likely begin to feel more confident and content with yourself the more you accomplish your goals. Just keep reminding yourself of your true intentions, that done is better than perfect, and that you are deserving of compassion for yourself. This approach to overcoming perfectionism is essentially a shift in mindset. Instead of judging and criticizing yourself to the point you give up, show yourself a little compassion; you deserve it.
One thing to note is that this is not a foolproof approach. In fact, there is no such thing. Just as perfectionism itself is an illusion, there is no perfect approach to overcoming perfectionism. However, if you keep at it and build these healthier habits, it will be much easier to catch yourself before you fall down the perfectionist rabbit hole, and slowly but surely, you’ll get things done. You got this!
